Australia tomorrow

Well, I'm flying to Australia tomorrow and have decided that as off tomorrow (when I arrive at Abu Dhabi) I'm going to write a wee message each day about what I've done.

2 of my closer friends moved over to Perth about 4 years ago and, more or less, been back to the UK each year. None of our group of friends has actually paid them a visit, so I decided it was about time I got my arse in gear and did something I've wanted to do since about 1988!

So, tomorrow I'm flying Etihad from Heathrow and visiting my friends in Australia.

I've been so lucky in my tickets and planes.

I depart Heathrow tomorrow at 9am and take an Airbus A380 (the double decker plane) to Abu Dhabi. Then I take the Boeing 787 (the Dreamliner) to arrive in Perth at 12:45 (local time) on Thursday!

Already we have so many things planned:

• quad bikes in the desert
• sand boarding
• visiting the quokkas on Rotnest Island
• seeing Stingrays
• whale watching
• Margaret River
• seeing where the Pacific Ocean meets the Indian Ocean

I can't wait!

Anyway, see you in Abu Dhabi!

Honeymoon

Well, at the moment I'm supposed to be sat in a beautiful Jaguar or Mercedes on my way to enjoy my honeymoon. However, I'm currenly sat at my desk at work as I needed to come in early so I could leave earlier.


Can't express how down I'm feeling.


About 5 weeks ago, my husband had what seemed like a panic attack whilst driving around the M25. We pulled over, safely, and after a while I started the drive home. We got home to him suffering from really bad nausea, a 'stuffed' head and various other aliments.


Was told by A&E and 3 other medical professionals that it was a viral infection, they couldn't give him anything for it except for some anti-sickness tablets.


Then a different doctor put it down to his anexity.


That was a bit of history.


Back to today, Monday 9th October.


I'm currently sat in the office when I should be on my way to a 5* castle in Somerset followed by 3 nights in a cottage on the Devon / Cornwall border.


I don't hate Andrew for being the cause of us not going, I get he's ill. But it can't stop me from feeling down that we're not off to celebrate our marriage. Doesn't help that we can't get any money back on our cottage.

The castle have very kindly been able to amend the reservation for us when they didn't need to which is very nice.


Well, I supposed that all I wanted to write about this. I'm feeling so down in general, but this is today's 'immediate'.

Sorry to put a downer on noone's day (no one reads this)!

Motivation

I'm really hoping  that by writing a motivational blog, it will help me onto the straight and narrow regarding my weight.


For about 15 years now I've steadily got fatter and fatter and I'm now at a stage where I'm actually disgusted with my body. So much so that I don't even like to have my top off in front of him, or look at myself in the mirror (with no top on).


I have tried diets but none of them have really stuck. Something would distract me from the diet or I'd find a reason - holiday, work trip or a night out. I found myself finding excuses not to continue.


Even right now, I'm trying to diet. I'm trying to cut out unnecessary crap, and it's not working. If we go to Waitrose, I still find myself buying an extra cake or sausage roll. For lunch yesterday, I ate an entire quiche which I think was meant for 4 people.


Just recently, a couple of things happened in my life that I'm really hoping with help me mentally (and physically) with some weight loss.


The first of which I'm not really going to go into. As much as no one is reading this blog, I don't want to post something so private. The other thing, as private as it is, I think will be OK as it might actually help someone (if anyone ever reads it that is).


I recently discovered that I have low testosterone.


Now this might now sound like anything huge but it actually made me feel less of a man. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with what I've got in the trouser department and I'm more than secure with my sexuality, but knowing that I'm low and what effectively makes me a man, kinda bothered me.


After a number of blood tests, I needed to see a consultant and I'm not having testosterone replacement.


This links in with my weight loss because of the effects of low testosterone. Some of which are:

• Low sex drive
• Always tired
• Difficult to lose weight

There are plenty more, but these are the main 3 that I've found effect me on a day to day basis, and have been for quite a few years now. These are the main things that I've found to be effecting my life & relationship.


Now, the reason of this post is related to weight. I'm trying so hard not to put all my eggs in one basket, but I really want this issue to be the key to me losing weight. This, as I'm finding, is turning out to be quite the task!


I need to remind myself that this might not effect my weight at all, and that I need to try and try harder to lose weight.


I'm trying to cycle more, I've been swimming reguarly for a while now and neither are making much difference. However, this is bearing in mind that I'm still trying to sort my diet out.


Going forward, I want to swim and cycle more. Once I was swimming 5 days a week, and once again, any little excuse would stop me from going. Even when I was going regularly, I'd still look for the little things. I have an excercise bike at home.


I'm trying to swim / cycle my way to Paris. Something that isn't happening quickly!


I'm hoping that by identifying low testosterone, and writing this post, this will motivate me into trying that little bit harder.


I'll keep updating on here.


Wish me luck...

Back in the UK

Well, am back in ole Blighty now, back to the usual routine of work and some play.

Getting to Hamburg airport was a right pain in the arse. Autobahns didn't move, and when I got to the security section, I realised I hasn't actually checked in for my flight and then that was a right pain in the arse.

Nothing eventful has really happened, except the start of S7 for Game of Thrones and the 13th doctor was announced. Here's some of my thoughts:

!!!! SPOILERS !!!!

Game of Thrones S07E01:
If the opening of this episode is anything to go by, we are in for one hell of a ride. Starting with the exact scenario that S6 left us with and the deadly Arya finishing off the entire Fray house! Just brilliant!

Loving Jon Snow's attitude about getting every Tom, Dick & Harriett fighting! And absolutely loved Lyanna Mormont's response to girls being taught how to fight! Loving her! Am looking forward to seeing her more. 

Am really looking forward to Jon Snow making a trip to Dragonstone and meeting his half-sister - the brilliant Khalessi! Wonder how she'll take him popping up and asking for some dragon stone to kill those blooming white walkers!

I wonder if she knows if he's her half-brother. Hopefully Jon Snow's fate will turn out better than her other brother in S1!

And just to top off this fantastic start were the best 3 words uttered....

'Shall we begin."

I can't wait for this season.

Doctor Who:
So, the other huge event was history being made with the first female actress taking up the mantle of the Doctor!

I wasn't surprised that this happened, it's been a long time coming (Germaine Greer would be proud). It was mentioned so often in the last series, and the testing of the water with Missy - it was inevitable that a woman would be the next doctor.

Personally, I think it's a great move. I think this not because it's a positive move for womens rights, just because I think it will be a great refreshing change. I've only seen Jodie Whittaker in Broadchurch, so I'm sure they'll give her some more character then what she had in that, she does need a bit more spunk that for sure!

I can't wait to see how she does! Exciting times ahead!

I Am Michael

I know that this isn't something, or a medium of communication that I don't use often. But I think that I'm going to try and start using it more often. 

I know it's also a method of communicating that is quite old fashioned in a world of Vloggers and the like, but there's something about communicating in words.

With a renewed interest of wanting to communicate my thoughts in words, I'm going to try and reinvent my blog. I am pretty sure that it will never take off, but this isn't about attracting people, it's about expressing myself in text.

So, what has provoked this reinterest in writing a blog. At the moment I'm working in Germany and have been here since Sunday (is now Tuesday). I came prepared with plenty of films and just watched 'I Am Michael' starring James Franco & Zachery Quinto. Found the film very good, but this post isn't actually about the film, it's about the thoughts that film has provoked in me. 

If you haven't seen the film, nor heard about, in short it's about a gay guy living in the 00s in America. He's in a stable relationship and works as a gay activist. During a health scare (which refreshingly isn't AIDS related) he prays and it turns out that he's OK. He puts this down to god and after reading a bible, his path to religion starts and renouces that he's gay and that by doing this, he will be accepted by god and will go to heaven.

This post is in no way whatsoever about slamming religion. I believe wholely that people can believe in what ever they want to believe in and I'm in no position whatsoever to judge that. 

It did start me thinking about religion and it's attitude towards sexuality and it's principles. Particularly, those mentioned in this film.

I was firstly amazed at the acceptance that the church gave to the main character, Michael. It got me thinking, is this because they didn't know that he was gay (this was before he renouced his sexuality). And I wondered what the reception would have been if he had made his sexuality more public. 

I know that as I write this, we live in a time when it's more accepted than ever to be gay, and maybe he didn't want to make this public knowledge. Even in the 10 years since this part of the film is based, opinion has changed so dramatically. But, would this question still remain, even today?

My current opinion of religion, and particularly Christianity, is that some places would be OK with this and some wouldn't. And leads me on to my thoughts on how one religion can vary so much within itself. 

I'm the first person to admit my ignorance over the different branches of Christianity, but I don't understand how people worshipping the same god, can have such different thoughts, believes and opinions on things that no one can control.

This then led me onto thinking is Christianity and the followers of it, stupid?

The film is about a gay man who finds god but believes that by being gay, is going to stop him from going to heaven. As soon as he believes this, he himself as a Christian, then starts believing that everything is OK. Just because he doesn't consider himself as gay any more.

How can anyone believe that just because they say they aren't gay anymore, believe that they're not gay? This applies to the main character, and the people that are aware of his past (including the woman that he marries). 

I really hope that anyone religious is in a position to help me understand this. Why would you accept someone knowing that they have no choice in their sexuality, but as soon as they say they're not gay, it's all OK. 

Please do be aware that I'm basing this whole post on my own thoughts, ignorance of how Christianity works (it is bloody confusing) and this film. 

I personally do not believe in a god, nor understand how someone can (I feel) blindly follow someone, so I find it difficult to understand. I would like to, but I'm not sure I ever will.

Anyone, it's my first proper post. If anyone should read this, I mean no offence to anyone.

Love to everyone.