For about 15 years now I've steadily got fatter and fatter and I'm now at a stage where I'm actually disgusted with my body. So much so that I don't even like to have my top off in front of him, or look at myself in the mirror (with no top on).
I have tried diets but none of them have really stuck. Something would distract me from the diet or I'd find a reason - holiday, work trip or a night out. I found myself finding excuses not to continue.
Even right now, I'm trying to diet. I'm trying to cut out unnecessary crap, and it's not working. If we go to Waitrose, I still find myself buying an extra cake or sausage roll. For lunch yesterday, I ate an entire quiche which I think was meant for 4 people.
Just recently, a couple of things happened in my life that I'm really hoping with help me mentally (and physically) with some weight loss.
The first of which I'm not really going to go into. As much as no one is reading this blog, I don't want to post something so private. The other thing, as private as it is, I think will be OK as it might actually help someone (if anyone ever reads it that is).
I recently discovered that I have low testosterone.
Now this might now sound like anything huge but it actually made me feel less of a man. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with what I've got in the trouser department and I'm more than secure with my sexuality, but knowing that I'm low and what effectively makes me a man, kinda bothered me.
After a number of blood tests, I needed to see a consultant and I'm not having testosterone replacement.
This links in with my weight loss because of the effects of low testosterone. Some of which are:
- Low sex drive
- Always tired
- Difficult to lose weight
Now, the reason of this post is related to weight. I'm trying so hard not to put all my eggs in one basket, but I really want this issue to be the key to me losing weight. This, as I'm finding, is turning out to be quite the task!
I need to remind myself that this might not effect my weight at all, and that I need to try and try harder to lose weight.
I'm trying to cycle more, I've been swimming reguarly for a while now and neither are making much difference. However, this is bearing in mind that I'm still trying to sort my diet out.
Going forward, I want to swim and cycle more. Once I was swimming 5 days a week, and once again, any little excuse would stop me from going. Even when I was going regularly, I'd still look for the little things. I have an excercise bike at home.
I'm trying to swim / cycle my way to Paris. Something that isn't happening quickly!
I'm hoping that by identifying low testosterone, and writing this post, this will motivate me into trying that little bit harder.
I'll keep updating on here.
Wish me luck...
